


on the effects of prisoner's honey as a recreational substance

by deepandlovelydark



Category: Fallen London | Echo Bazaar, MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Crack, Fridge Horror, Humor, general Neathy weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 21:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12466420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepandlovelydark/pseuds/deepandlovelydark
Summary: From a certain point of view: a rather intricate series of fannish in-jokes.From another: crack, in which Jack Dalton has to rescue Mac from his own fridge. Whoops!





	on the effects of prisoner's honey as a recreational substance

**Author's Note:**

> I should have known better than to predict that I *wouldn't* write fic about anything...

Jack Dalton finds that there's one very reassuring point about Mac shouting for help: at least it means he's still within earshot. 

Of course, it's even more reassuring to charge into the kitchen, ready for action and gun unholstered, only to find Bozer laughing his head off and Mac stuck on top of the fridge, looking exactly like a cat that knows how to climb up things but not down again.

Jack doesn't say anything. Just fetches a chair, and gently lifts the kid down. 's nice.

Then he says something.

"So what was that all about?"

"He put a, a, some kind of pharmaceutical in the fridge! And didn't label it!"

"Hey, do I ever complain when you bring work home? Batteries in the fridge, hand grenade in the bathtub-"

"That wasn't a hand grenade, and you definitely spent all week complaining about it...all I did was make some honey and toast, next thing I know I'm having the worst trip ever," Mac says, looking very unhappy.

"Have you ever even been on a trip?" Jack asks, calmly filching a piece of bacon from the frying pan.

"No. That's not the point- are you alright?" Mac says, as Jack starts choking.

"Turkey bacon? Who in their right mind buys turkey bacon?"

"Us," Bozer says. "One of those happy things we don't argue about."

"So I ended up hallucinating this ship, or something, and we were fighting all the crazy sea monsters...Riley was doing all this magic stuff instead of computer stuff, and Bozer, I think maybe you were dating her? Not sure. Sam was shooting the monsters with a cannon instead of a gun. And I think Matty was Welsh for some reason."

"Where was I in all this?" Jack inquires. 

"Uh. You were pretty much just you, Jack."

"Coulda been worse," Bozer says sagely. "What's so bad about your team fighing wacky magical monsters, 'stead of real ones?"

Mac shakes his head vigorously. "Nope. No no no. I had a mullet."

"Dude," Bozer says. "The way your hair looks now, all you gotta do is cut it short in front and you'd have one anyway."

Jack has a sudden piercing vision of Mac in sunglasses and leathers, totally rocking a mullet as he steers a motorcycle over a Pacific coast highway. 

Uh. 

Actually, it sounds kind of awesome.

"Meantime, though, I'd better take what's left of this sample back to the lab before anything else happens to it," Bozer says, picking up the glass jar of honey. "There was another one that went with it, a red one. Where did that go?"

His gaze travels over the table. To the half-open jar. To the sticky red knife on the plate.

To the crescent gap in the slice of toast that Jack's just taken a big bite out of. 

"You said honey. This is totally strawberry jam, isn't it?" Jack asks.

"Uh-huh," Bozer says, taking out his cell phone. "Hey, Matty? Hope you don't need your troubleshooter or his muscle today, cos I think we're gonna need them in hospital for observation all day...yeah, it was an accident...oh, sure, I'll be there, no problem...well, of course these two deserve each other..."


End file.
